Have you struggled over the Christmas and New Year period within your relationship – even more than you previously may have done during the past year? You will not be alone!
Christmas and the holidays may put a couple under extreme emotional and financial strain, plus, if a couple has been experiencing difficulties in their relationship, then spending time with each other and their children, all together, for the first time in months, can make them fully realise the extent of their problems. In addition, the pressure of spending time with parents-in-law, extended family and friends can also magnify relationship problems.
Research has revealed that one in five couples consider separation in January. January is considered to be the “divorce decision” month.
It is understandable that people do not want to go through a divorce around the festive period, therefore, some people wait and delay the process for as long as possible after Christmas. Couples often opt to have one last Christmas together, hoping that more time together will make the relationship last.
However, once the holiday, rose-tinted spectacles, have been removed, in January, their unhappy situation starts to become more and more real. This is one reason why unhappy couples who are having trouble making their marriage work will make the decision to begin divorce proceedings.
After the new year, many individuals tend to make changes in their lives, and for some, this may involve ending an unhappy marriage. However, for other couples, this may be the point at which they realise how much they have to lose – and they make a joint decision to seek help in saving their marriage, instead of giving up on their relationship.
Those who have been thinking of divorcing could get the push they need from the pressure of a New Year’s resolution. Others may make a different kind of resolution – to work harder to improve those aspects of their marriage which need improvement.
The holiday season is a time for reflection, and divorce is significantly influenced by the New Year’s resolution trend. After the new year, many individuals tend to make changes in their lives, and for some, this may involve ending an unhappy marriage – or it may mean that a couple both realise that they need to make changes in the way that they communicate with each other and the way in which they behave towards each other.
What is more likely to occur is that people have been contemplating divorce for months, but January is usually the turning point when they decide to start working toward a better version of themselves, making changes – and this may well include a decision to work on changes to create a better version of their relationship/marriage.
Marriage is, in a very real sense, work. We rely on each other to keep the home running like a well-oiled machine, whether that involves organising and planning work and family commitments, securing our children’s futures, checking and maintaining the family’s financial stability, making sure that family members are healthy, etc. Marriage needs both partners to share in the hard work involved.
So, before you rush, headlong, into something which you may later regret, perhaps you should consider giving your marriage a second chance of happiness for all concerned.
Please consider some professional, couples/relationship counselling before making any rash decisions.
Here is a link to my webpage which outlines the ways in which I can help couples who are experiencing various types of issues and problems within their relationships: Couples Counselling
Please call me on 07913 979561 to arrange an appointment or complete a Contact Form.